Greener Grass

So you’ve probably heard that old familiar saying, "the grass is always greener on the other side [of the fence]." That adage implies that everything always looks better from a different perspective-until you get there, and you realize that the grass looks just the same as everyone else’s-including yours.
But sometimes the grass really is greener on the other side. Let’s take a look at a few things.
When the first flat panel t.v.’s / computer monitors came out and were super mega expensive, I couldn’t help but wonder what it might be like to have the thin versatility of the flatscreen and the idea of an uncluttered workspace was especially appealing. But still, my old, bulky, enormously ugly CRT monitor (cathode ray tube) still was functionable. Supposedly the picture was better anyways. But as the time went by, I kept thinking about that flat panel monitor until, one day, I bought one. Let me tell you, it was everything I hoped for in a monitor (well, for the most part) so I was not disappointed (Thank You Samsung!).
In another case, a friend of mine recently confided in me that he was hoping to get a new job-one that expanded his knowledge and that gave him an opportunity to grow within the company-something his current company didn’t offer. He was at yet anoter dead-end job where the pay was absolutely outstanding. Looking for a new job meant the possibility of taking a pay cut, not liking it as much, and the possibility of failure. He kept wondering if the grass was greener on the other side. He loved his co-workers (he’d been working there for five years or so) and loved what he did. But yet there was still that idea in the back of his head eating away at him ... Finally, he took a breath, put out his resume, and got a new job. This job is so much better than his last job. He told me he hadn’t even realized how crappy his old job really was until he got his new one. So this is a perfect example of times when something you don’t have is in fact better than what you do ...
Finally, there are relationships. When I was in my 7 year relationship (wow, I still can’t believe we were together that long), we got along really really well for the most part. We argued at times, like any other couple. But for the most part, we actually had a paretty calm relationship. But in the back of my head, I longed for something more, something different. We had no major commonalities and the more I grew up (I was, after all, very young) the lack of similarities between us started out as a small tributary and grew into a great gulf that separated us. But still, I kept on with the relationship. But every time I had a connection with someone else, a spark of that something I was missing in my relationship, I wondered. I wondered if it really was greener on the other side of the fence. I questioned whether or not the things I wanted were really possible.
After a time, I made up my mind that I needed to find out. So I broke up with him. I would be lying if I said he wasn’t devastated and I truly from the bottom of my heart, regret the callous way I handled everything. I had emotionally disconnected from the relationship a month or two before it was actually over. He probably deserved more of an explanation. But if you were to hear the terms of it all, you might actually say he didn’t. Who knows.
The point is, I wanted to see if the grass was really greener--and in a way, it really was.
Sometimes when we see people in relationships that we don’t understand, it’s easy to point fingers and make snap judgements about what they should do with their lives. We want them to see the possiblity that there is more to life out there than who they’re with. But the reality is, they’re probably thinking through the same things in their mind and wondering to themselves "is the grass really greener on the other side?"
The truth of it all is, I’ve somehow convinced myself that the grass really is greener on my side. Maybe I’m wrong ... I see how people get in relationships, and I’m shocked. I see how people treat one another and I’m apalled. I want to enjoy someone’s company without changing who they are, I want to have an intelligent conversation about random things, I want to be a part of someone’s life and have them be a part of mine. I want them to think to themselves how lucky they are to have me and visa versa. I never want them to regret being in a relationship with me. It’s that simple.
I don’t know what the future holds; I don’t know if I will ever find someone in this lifetime. But that’s okay ... I know I’m not perfect; I know I make stupid mistakes; I know I’m still growing as a person. But I definitely think that I’m worthy of something and someone great. But I just have to be given that chance ... So this might be yet another one of those times when the grass really is greener on the other side.
As far as relationships, I’m sure we’ve all been in those situations and with those people who we are pretty sure are not the IT person. They are the person who tides us over until our real person comes along. But what I’ve noticed is that so many people get trapped by the "stand in" person because they end up getting pregant (sometimes on purpose-don’t even get me started), they have such low self-esteem they are afraid to move on, they feel something is better than nothing, or they just don’t know what they want. They get trapped and then life gets in the way. Suddenly everything has become more complicated. They end up settling and find themselves unhappy.
The truth is, even though people criticize me for taking such a long time to find someone (or criticize me for having standards), I would rather be here, soaking up moderate happiness, than stuck wallowing in a slow death of loneliness or unhappiness. Sometimes it’s worth coming over to the other side because the grass just might give you a place of peace.
I admit though, it does get lonely over here in my patch of personal garden. But when the time is right, everything will work itself out and I won’t have to wonder if the grass is greener elsewhere anymore-because I’ll have already been to the other side to find out.