Instant Gratification

So I was talking to my sister about this, and we both agree that everyone seems to always want instant gratification in our society today.
They want, need a distraction so they turn to things that gratify them instantly: sex, drugs, pills, and alcohol. Or perhaps it's to a relationship that can give them what they want right now. We are so bombarded with all the things that come our way, that we are easily distracted and when we see something we want, we want it now. We have become a society that places emphasis on what you get as opposed to what you give.
I think the biggest danger in instant gratification is that it becomes an addiction to us. Even if we manage to give up that addiction, we slowly adapt something else to be addicted to. I think we move quickly from thing to thing because we are a society where we are easily bored and are always looking for a new "fix" a new high to keep from reminding us the truth of the world. It's not always that awesome, amazing place we thought it would or should be.
Our addictions are the ways we distract our hearts from feeling, distract our minds from thinking, and in essence, for just a moment we can pretend the world is as we want it to be, not as it actually is.
The difficulty here lies in our inability to form strong connections with other people. More often than not, people don't follow through with what they say they will do-a result of trying to take too much on and do too many things at once.
We heard a message at church over the weekend to "slow down" and I think it starts with our mentality. "Slowing down" isn't just about taking a day of rest, it's about trying to bite off more than we can chew, taking on too many tasks at once. "Learn to say no" was one of the main messages given to us. I think it especially necessary to learn to say no... to ourselves.
When we can't follow through with what we say, we let each other down, and unknowingly begin to lose the trust of our friends and loved ones. We slowly start to slip away and become more and more addicted to the next fix. Pretty soon, we are nothing more than a hollow, empty shell of a person. We need to learn to say no to ourselves, learn that we need to be patient, not always running after the "newer and better."
It reminds me of an ex boyfriend who told me about the "shiny penny" syndrome. If you have a group of pennies that are old, none of them stick out. But you put a new, shiny penny in the bunch, and suddenly, you can't help but stare at the shiny penny. Pretty soon, that penny isn't shiny anymore and you have to look for the next shiny penny.
To show you the example in terms of people, let's say a group of three people meet and are friends. They hang out with one another a lot and have a good time. But they know one another so well, they begin to flake on one another-because they are becoming familiar with them and bored. But once you introduce a new friend to the group, they are like the shiny penny that will draw the friends in again. In relationships, I have seen the same thing. After a few months, the girlfriend (or sometimes the boyfriend) becomes the old penny. Day after day, week after week, everything becomes the same, becomes routine. Not because they are not exciting people, but because you know them and who they are. Suddenly, you are bored and start to wonder if it's just you or if your relationship is doomed. You can't help but want to breathe life back into your relationship, but you've both become the used penny. So when the guy meets the new "shiny" penny, she might not be as cute or awesome or wonderful as you. She is just new and shiny and everyone is excited by the unknown.
This is why, I believe, so many relationships / marriages fail. Our need for instant gratification and the constant "new penny" syndrome makes us constantly want for more and never lets us be satisfied with what we have.
This is also why I believe guys are attracted to what are typically considered "crazy" girls. I think that they are attracted to them for several reasons that are easy to see. These could also apply in "crazy guy" but realistically, I think guys become more easily bored than girls.
#1) "Crazy" girl is difficult to figure out (because she's crazy) and difficult to figure out = a puzzle which = fun. Let's face it, if we know and understand someone, you'd think that would = great person we get along with. But what it typically means for most guys = boring and routine. Boring and routine = bad.
#2) "Crazy" girls typically stays like a new, shiny penny longer, because they are unpredictable (again, I sound like a broken record but-this is because they are crazy!) But again, unpredictable = fun. Us girls that have a decent job, our lives are mostly squared away, and we don't have significant issues = boring and routine. As I said above, boring and routine = bad.
#3) "Crazy" girls typically don't care about anyone but themselves. Why is it that crazy people are so focused on themselves? Hmm... again, they are crazy! But the thing that makes them interesting is that they are so focused on themselves that they don't focus on the guy which instantly makes them more attractive. Because they guy looks at it with his ego like, "how come they aren't paying attention to me? I'm hot stuff." And the girl blows him off. When she doesn't pay the attention to him he feels he deserves, it becomes like a game, a puzzle. A game or puzzle = chase which = fun. Guys are preditory animals and most men need to chase their prey and eventually win it over. Thus, while they say they don't like to play games, they inevitably do it anyway!
#4) "Crazy" girl ends up being with Mr. Nice Guy because Mr. Nice Guy gets stuck. There are things about crazy girl he likes. He doesn't want to be Mr. "Fix It" but at the same time, he does. He likes the attention and likes to feel wanted and needed. In attempting to fix her problems, it enables him to avoid his. Inevitably, however, he realizes there are several things about crazy girl he doesn't like: her instability, her intimacy issues, her insecurities. But at the same time, it becomes difficult to leave because at the same time, she is giving him the excitement that he craves.
So after all this, what is the solution? I think the secret is that we all have issues of our own device. We all have our own little bit of "crazy" but inevitably we will all become the dull penny eventually. The secret, it would seem, is to find someone who recognizes in us our potential. No one wants to settle for boring or routine. But I think that's what we really need. We are encouraged to go for the "shiny" penny and to abandon the old one. But what if we stopped wanting things now? What if our lives could stop centering around instant gratification?
It's funny how we emphasize the importance of "getting your life together" but I can say from personal experience that having my life semi-together is intimidating and boring. And as I've said a million times now, routine = boring. Normal = boring.
So then we turn back to instant gratification and being the shiny penny. I don't know if there's a way around it. I can only hope that someone looks at me and is able to see the shiny penny underneath despite whatever might build up along the way. And let's face it, let's hope I am able to recognize them too, because it's so easy to get lost in the sea of tarnished faces.