Wait For It... Wait For It ...

It has been a long time since I've written. I've been absorbed with the mundane everyday tasks of living and I've scarely had time to think let alone write. But so much stuff has happened recently, I cannot stop my head from spinning at the reality, the totality, of it all.

There are so many times in this life when we settle for something that's "just good enough" for right now. We really want that amazing technological gadget, but we end up settling for one without all the bells and whistles because, in the end, we just can't justify the cost of the other one.

Yet, once we buy that item, I think we're left with a sort of mild disappointment--disappointment that we didn't get what we really wanted. We're not unhappy with what we bought, but the truth is, I don't think we're every fully satisfied. It's almost as if there's this nagging feeling in the back of our heads that longs for something more--wondering if we shouldn't have just spent the money on the other thing instead. But our impatience got the better of us.

That's sorta what life is about: impatience. We're always in a hurry--and this is proven time and time again from the deadlines in our jobs to our competitiveness in sports (why some people take steroids so they can bulk up fast vs. doing in the natural--but slow way), etc. We are a society in a rush.

Part of encouragement in being in a hurry, is that we are often rewarded for thinking that way. For example, if you are in a hurry to get somewhere, you get there faster--thus encouraging you to repeat the same behavior the next time. If you get a good deal because you're there the fastest, it might convince you to get there in a hurry the next time too.

When it comes to matters of the heart, we try to apply this same thinking, and we end up lost and confused, because that's not the way our heart works. When we are rewarded with the latest technology, and we "settle" for the thing that's "almost as good" the reality is, we'll be replacing it in a few years if not sooner, with something probably better and more advanced.

But in relationships, we are not encouraged to do that. We are encouraged to find one person and settle down with them. But finding that person is incredibly, if not impossibly difficult, when we apply the hurried thinking to the situation. For example, if we are in a hurry to get married, the likelihood of a successful marriage is going to be a lot smallter than someone who say, did their research and "shopped around."

People aren't like technology: you can't just throw the relationship away because something "better" comes along. The reality is, the relationship you had might be just as good--but the new thing only appears better. So the question is, how do you tell what is better? How can you pick one thing and stick with that thing for life? Or is that impossible? Is sticking with something (or someone) for life impossible because of our way of thinking? Let's take a closer look.

Have you ever took a look at two vehicles, relatively similar in outward design, but their interior and price were completely different? For example, one had leather and had a cd changer and excellent speakers, and the other one cloth seating and the "basic" package. There is also a difference in price... How do you determine which one to go for? If you're like most people, you have an idea in your head of what you're looking for and what you're not.

In terms of a car, you wouldn't spend 100k on items in car that you didn't need just because it looked better or because everyone else was buying one.
Ultimately, you'd get the car you want, and hopefully wouldn't settle for what is just "good enough" for now.

So now, doing that in relationships poses a challenge. What do you choose to settle for?

I often give my friends advice when there are TWO pieces of technology (or more) they can't decide between. I always tell them the same thing: don't buy either. That's right--don't buy either item. Why? Because if you buy one, you'll always wonder about the other. The secret, then, is to figure out what you want the MOST and go get that. Have you ever noticed that when you do that, you end up buying something and not regretting it later?

Yes, sometimes waiting MAY mean you don't have ANY technology (or relationship, or whatever), but when you DO finally pick something, it will be the something that you really wanted.

Whenever I see people caught up between choices, it's usually because they are too close, too emotionally attached, to make a logical (and rational) decision one way or another.

So then, it comes down to waiting for it--waiting for the right one--waiting for the one that you really want--even if it means being alone--even if it means you don't have the exact same things as everyone else.

Stop thinking in terms of what you "have to have" and start thinking long term--what do you NEED and what are you prepared to wait for? You don't pull a pie out of the oven early and expect it to taste good. You have to... get ready for this wisdom---wait for it.

Perhaps we need to start teaching about the importance of patience, of being okay with going without, in this society always in a hurry. Perhaps if we slowed down a bit, we just might take the time to look around us and see things a bit differently.

Life is out there. Get what you want, just don't be afraid to wait for it.