Scary but Going For It Anyway ...

You know, when I was a young girl, we lived in the middle of about one hundred acres of woods and forest. Believe me, when you live in Oregon, that’s possible. At night, not only was it extremely quiet ... but you could often hear things crashing around in the forest.
It was those sounds that terrified me. Of course, I always ended up getting the chore of taking out the garbage. I would run as fast as I could across the driveway to where the garbage cans were. Then I would sift through the trash (a strange thing my mother would insist upon to ensure nothing important had been thrown away) and make my way back as quickly as possible to the house.
Things that scared and terrified me also made me eager to overcome them. A famous story (that my mother always tells at parties-so embarassing) is that when I was four, I saw the curtains moving on the door outside (due to the breeze) and I asked what made the curtains moved. "Ghosts." My brothers insisted. "They are trying to scare you." Well, while the thought scared me, I marched over to the door, opened it, and shouted, "BOO GHOST!"
If you fast forward, this approach to life actually is true just as much today as it was then. Things that terrify me only bolden my resolve to conquer them (with the exception of scary rides and death-defying stunts of madness)... even the idea of my current job scared the crap out of me, but I did it because I wanted to prove to everyone else (and especially to myself) that I could do it. I could be strong enough, tough enough, brave enough.
I did it. Six years later, I am still here ... having conquered many fears and shortomings within myself to be able to do it. But the truth is, underneath it all, I think I’m still afraid on some level.
Fear is a natural part of life. Some of us are constantly running from it, and others take the time to face our fears-we just do it a little bit more slowly than most people. We don’t run from them, but we don’t jump in either ...
I think I need to take my relationships slowly, one day at a time with someone patient, kind, and romantic. :)
Those are my thoughts.